How to Enjoi Life

RACHEL STEWART

2010-11-22T22:21:00.000-08:00

RACHEL STEWART

Check out this great artist who makes really inspired jewelry.

Three months later...

2010-09-02T09:22:00.000-07:00

What a difference a day, or a month can make. Since my last post, I've gotten a promotion, gone on vacation, and quit my job. After much consideration and a ridiculous situation, i decided that management did not deserve my hard work and efforts if it was an acceptable practice to talk down to employees and then fabricate incidents. So i did the respectable thing and put in my two weeks notice. My job prior to this one ended in a way that left me saying from here on out, i will not tolerate my reputation being sullied, and I am proud to stand by that. So here I am at yet another crossroad. I am in the midst of making preparations to live on campus for the next three months, but currently having second thoughts. Leaving my home, car, and boyfriend over a thousand miles away is tragic, and leaving me feeling as if maybe its not the right time to do this. Another part of me needs to be back in the thick of education, in a metropolitan area, and among my peers. Perhaps it may be better to transfer to a school in my home state and go somewhere close at the risk of losing credits and having to essentially start anew in school. I am really torn in more ways than one and wishing i just had more time to contemplate all the " if, then" statements. It makes me think of those chose your own adventure books, and how i would read both alternate endings and go with the one I liked better. Too bad i can't see both endings.

Playlist
Africa - Toto
Come as you are - Nirvana
I want to thank you - Alicia meters

Where Did The Night Go

2010-03-04T21:42:00.000-08:00

Video recording of Gil Scot-Heron performing "Where Did the Night Go".

Home Sweet Home

2010-03-04T20:51:00.000-08:00

We have officially been residents of our small suburban town for two years now, and needless to say, I am restless. For those who know me well, I have been enrolled in over a dozen schools, lived everywhere from rural and suburban, to the gritty and urban. Personally I blame it on the way I was raised; nomadic parents who were content to roam wherever there was family or a familiar face in hopes of finding a real "home". Luckily I don't have kids in tow, just a boyfriend who is willing to traipse across the country as long as its not to a place with copious amounts of snow or crime (neither of which I am personally fond of).

Obviously I am not one who holds tight to the adage that "home is where the heart is". I know it is possible to fall in love with a place, much like it is possible to fall in love with people or ideas. I desire change, and location is where I will start.

Playlist:
Edie Brickell and New Bohemians- What I am
Audioslave - Be Yourself
Radiohead - Up on the Ladder
Jodeci - Cry for you

Branding to another Level

2010-01-31T22:46:00.000-08:00

So I was doing some research regarding henna tattoos and designs and came across this

I'm not going to post a big (or even a medium size for that matter) blog about it, just thought it was interesting to see what designers believe/want to get away with. Will people who can afford Chanel purchase these sticker tatts for grown ups? Will people who can hardly (or not) afford designer label buy these as a consolation?

Taking the Reigns

2010-01-26T21:25:00.001-08:00

A series of events have inspired me to continue moving on my path to entrepreneurship and higher ambitions. It happens like that frequently, and in waves. I start to worry/wonder sometimes when trite sayings and bumper stickers start to make sense. Things like "No one can value you more than you value yourself", "Success is a journey, not a destination", and "Where's the beef?". Okay, not the last one, but you get the picture. No, yours truly is not about to hang any kitty posters anytime soon.

As an observational individual (albeit a bit clueless at times) I see alot. I hear alot and probably know more of other people's business than I should. Being an observer in the lives of others allows me to be objective, logical, and resourceful. As for my own circumstances, not so much.

I've been thinking about my motivation recently however. I've been fueled by ill feelings, not love or hope. I've been powered by a desire to not be in certain situations or tied by circumstances. Is this acceptable? Shouldn't I be fueled by love, hope, aspiration, puppies, wildflowers?

Playlist:
Bush - Glycerine
Bjork - Cocoon
Sade - Cherish the Day
Tiombe Lockart - California
Gary Jules - Mad World
Bob Marley - Sun is Shining

New Year, new _____?

2010-01-21T19:16:00.001-08:00

Happy belated new year!

Hope your new year has been exciting, eventful, and full of inspiration! I have hit the books again this month, and have a new veracity for knowledge and getting my business plans in order. Not being one to make annual promises that I will eventually feel self-loath for not meeting, I have managed to determine a few commitments that I feel will make me a happier, healthier person. Being of sound mind and body, I commit to cooking more, eating more raw foods, and finding an active outlet that I can regularly enjoy with my s.o. (or singularly). This is not a resolution in disguise. This is my attempt of being mindful of my actions and an effort to take control in an otherwise unruly world. And no, "active outlet" is not code word for exercise (which I deplore). If you have any suggestions, recipes, or cool ideas, leave a comment.

Losing It

2009-12-08T08:41:00.000-08:00

Howdy blog world! Like most, I get overwhelmed in the holiday season, and I definitely need to take time out to breathe. Today is the third day this week I have misplaced my wallet and in comes the anxiety that accompanies that. If I can't find it I have to cancel my cards and go get a new license which means unknown hours at the DMV. Its ridiculous how often I've lost it considering as of late that I have only gone to work and back plus one visit to the store. ARGH!!! That in addition to that stagnant feeling that washes over me after holding a job for 6-8 months. Hopefully this will pass soon, especially since I believe that I actually like what I do. I do realize that I am in a rut in terms of my personal relationships go, and am having a massive blockage in terms of how to fix it. What do you do when your personal or work life is on the skids?

Moisture Rich Winter

2009-10-08T20:44:00.001-07:00

Winter is around the corner for the Southern states finally (Monday was low 60's, today felt like mid 80's) so I decided to compile a few pre-winter selections and must haves. Here's a view of some skin care picks to keep those chapped lips and cheeks at bay. And because acne isn't exclusive to hot weather, a great spot treatment is essential. Check it out!

The Crossover

2009-09-26T08:39:00.000-07:00

So I have another blog with onsugar.com (guide to style) and considering switching over to blogger because formatting is so much easier here. Or I may just start using my current personal blog for it as style, makeup and skincare are so ever-present in my everyday life :) Actually, I think I just made up my mind. Thanks blogger! Expect more fashionable posts to come!

Life as A Butterfly

2009-09-22T08:34:00.000-07:00

This weekend we took a more invasive look at Dallas as recently I have been longing for city living again. We stayed north, visited east and south as well. Our first destination however was Fort Worth's Botanical Garden which was quite impressive for an open space that managed to not charge admission. There were numerous gardens, from Texas indigenous to roses to fragrance. It was a nice departure from suburban life even though it was not fast paced; it was peaceful and inspiring and just different enough to stir some creations and make memories. There were loud bugs, pretty flowers and smatterings of butterflies. Finding such a peaceful oasis in the city reminded me that I would need to create peace once I returned; quiet space and starlit nights were not going to be an automatic. After replanting myself in urban soil (cement) would I be making the opposite travels, yearning to get away to a slower pace? We both think it would be a good idea to actually consider Austin proper, which has the potential of being the best of both worlds. Wish us luck.

The Texas Experience

2009-09-08T08:14:00.000-07:00

So somehow, some way, I have managed to put 20k miles on my new (to me) car in the first year without even leaving the state. We have visited a handful of the major cities (we live near Austin), San Antonio a few times, Dallas, Houston, and Corpus Christi. And Texas is a huge state. You can fit like 8 Rhode Islands in it. There are countries smaller than the Lone Star State. jeez. But is this normal? Good thing its not a lease. Maybe if I start taking more pics I'll feel justified in being so wanderous. I guess I feel that 20k is a bit high considering when you lease a car there is a penalty if you go over 12k, and whenever you fill out those online forms for car insurance its either 10-12k annually or 20-25k, and if you're hitting 25k in one year, you better be a door-to-door salesman not just some bored hipster who likes to look cool in her white hatchback.

Tis' the Season

2009-08-22T20:09:00.000-07:00

Its about that time of year that always gives me happy chills and warms moments of nostalgia; that's right, Back to School! As a self-proclaimed (and often peer-proclaimed)nerd, it still gives me great joy to see the school supplies list and back to school sales. I miss being on campus some days; being around creative, knowledge-hungry individuals. I am currently on hiatus from my masters degree program and considering pursuing a more creative degree or a program that will give me a skill. Haven't really made up my mind and it is probably too late to apply to a decent program. I have decided to create a list of all the things I have been interested in learning/achieving, and go from there. Hopefully there will be a common bond and I can pursue a program that will allow me to experience multiple interests. How do you determine your dream career?

The Life You Save

2009-07-27T23:10:00.000-07:00

Does the enjoyment of telling people what to do automatically make you a good candidate for a career as a consultant?

I mean, admittedly, I do enjoy giving my opinion and sharing ideas, new info and doing research on multiple subjects. Not sure what would qualify one as an expert other than living life and having experiences. Maybe I just feel that way so I can get out of having to write fifty million books and being adored by Oprah before I can have enough credit to be a consultant on some level. Any input? Discuss.

Baby Cakes

2009-07-07T10:19:00.000-07:00

So I became an auntie for the first time and a cousin on the same day, July 1st. I have never been one to be gaga over baby smells and coos and cribs, but I felt a little special at the thought of becoming an aunt. I have millions of cousins and probably have been noticeably lukewarm to that bit of news. Of course with all the baby biz it has made me take stock of my own situation; wants, goals, future. I'm still (relatively) young and hoping not to rush into family anytime soon. Like alot of people, I wish to have a career in place, a nice home, and a great environment before bringing someone into the world. What is the most important thing to provide to your family?

Obsessions in the City

2009-06-20T18:48:00.000-07:00

Part of having a healthy relationship with your self is realizing your interests, your likes, and, unholiest of words, obsessions.

Obsession
ob·ses·sion
Pronunciation:
\äb-ˈse-shən, əb-\
1: a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling ; broadly : compelling motivation

I realize that I have an obsession with the city of Detroit. I lived there for well over a decade and finally escaped last year to warmer weather and friendlier people. But something about it call me back. The culture, the incredible architecture, all the great places to gorge yourself on various ethnic and indulgent foods. All this in addition to easy access to the waterfront and boutiques that actually "get" my aesthetics would seem like a pretty alright place to be.Surprisingly, no. The lack of an actually grocery store in the ENTIRE city, the crime, and the fact that annual car insurance costs half the value of my car would make this a no-go (or no-stay as it were). But something still compels me to think about this urban land I abandoned like so many others. I once likened my relationship with the city to that of a jilted fiancee. If you are like most people, there is no way to return to "the good ol' days" once that happens. And what happened to me in Detroit was a series of events that changed me. The disappointment, regret, feelings of loss and despair consumed me. Made me question what I had done to deserve this. And I allowed it to consume me for two years, until I finally left.

I'm not certain how an abandoned bride reacts, but I responded with curiosity and a scientific approach if you will. I have always had a fascination with Detroit history and even its current missteps and achievements. I have decided to take my (unhealthy?)obsession and turn it into a fulfilling practice. That's right, a blog. Not necessarily dedicated to the city solely, but I would like to do a study of different areas, mostly in transition, and write about it, put my assessments, and hopefully interview folks. Exercise those demons!

What are some of your obsessions? Do you feed it or attempt to ignore it?

Keeping the Sanity

2009-06-11T08:52:00.000-07:00

As my semester came to a close, reality hits me. I can't mooch forever and I definitely do not want to return to social work. I also realized that I need to organize my time better to achieve goals. I'm working on creating a new schedule around my part-time job (which I'm actually enjoying and learning much from), and my new wheel which I have neglected in the past week due to new pt gig and 2 gnarly papers that I had to write for class. I think I will dedicate my Sunday's to all things home, housework, decor, and probably cooking. This week was short but my brain is fried. Guess its time to do some manual labor and give the mental waves a break for a moment.

Currently Listening to:
Amel Larrieux
Weary
Album: Morning

Back in the Studio

2009-05-29T06:28:00.000-07:00

So...I bought a wheel. Not just any wheel. A pottery wheel. That's right folks, I'm heading back into the studio for real. I taught handbuilding with clay for over 3 years and was only fortunate enough to take a few throwing classes where I worked. In my efforts to get back to my life, I made a giant investment into something I can devote my time, genuine effort and creativity, and hopefully get some pretty cool art in return. I started back on Wednesday and man I suck! After putting in a little time on Wednesday and a couple of hours on Thursday, I'm already seeing improvement in my mud puppies. This experience has reminded me of a true life lesson; never stop practicing. But if you do get out of the habit, don't beat yourself up for not being a superstar off the bat again. Don't allow yourself to slack, but don't torment yourself either. Enjoy reconnecting with that old friend, find new ways to master it, make new observations of your actions, reactions, and feelings. And do the best you can.

Tuesday, the real Monday

2009-05-19T08:56:00.000-07:00

Re-watched "Office Space" a few weeks ago and it made me thankful that I was no longer working in a cubicle. I don't care what the McDonalds commercials try to brainwash me with; adding a McCafe to the situation was not changing the reality of work without walls. Seems like everyone around me is soon to follow suit. Being confined to an environment that does not cultivate your strengths, speak to your interests, or appreciates your efforts is not a fate anyone wishes to have. Being afraid of the consequences, all the responsibilities, bills and the unknown holds us back. In an economy where everyone is frightened of what is around the corner (unemployment, disease, foreclosure) we allow ourselves to become paralyzed. We try to avoid situations where we can not be in control so we stay in the same job for years, stay in the same relationship for too long, and live next to the same gossipy neighbor in the increasingly sub-par community. How does one break free? I think I will start a series and present people who have successfully broken free of the 9 to 5 and are carving their own path. May start with these guys ( a spoof of these dudes) .Stay tuned for that one.

Monday Monday

2009-05-11T18:50:00.000-07:00

La LA lalalalala

Had a wonderful time at the Gulf of Mexico this weekend. The s.o. and I had no formal plans or reservations. In fact, I only had directions to the actual city of Corpus with no idea where the beach or any campgrounds were located. Luckily, I though to hunt down one of those tourist kiosks in a motel, the kind with all the "adventure" and "cruise" pamphlets. Good providence afforded us a very vague map which at least got us to the ferry to the island.

After a detour at surf shop and a very windy 15 mile ride, we arrived at the state park. Drove the little Mazda right onto the sand and didn't stop until we found a desirable spot. Assembled the tent, (which embarrassingly took longer than it should have) just for it to fly away due to the ridiculous wind. We finally tracked it down on the other side of the dunes in a bunch of brambles. Lesson one, secure tent. Lesson two, made sure you bring more than flip flops for footwear. Lesson three, check your tent for visitors before going to sleep. We awakened to a wayward baby crab searching for a way out. Boy those things can move! We fell asleep to the waves crashing and the full Moon bathing our tent with light. What a beautiful and peaceful night.

Got up early in the morning (damn internal clock) and was greeted by a warm, cloudy day. Did some wave jumping, poked some creatures hiding in their shells, and walked up and down the beach. We ended our mini-vaycay at this cool cajun restaurant with seafood gumbo and a mahi mahi po-boy sandwich. Mmmm.

Driving onto the beach and having to chase our tent over a sand dune is an experience I won't soon forget. Just wish I had the camera rolling to show folks. Being away and unplugged for the day allowed me to enjoy the moment, something I seemed to have forgotten how to do. Finding a way to incorporate that feeeling of freedom in the every day is something I will strive to do. I will strive to stay inspired.

Back to Life

2009-04-26T20:23:00.001-07:00

I had the most glorious vacation in Raleigh/Durham NC this past week. I ate a tremendous amount of food, got back in touch with my roots, and met some phenomenal people that truly inspired me. The main purpose of the trip was to attend a book release celebration for the significant other's aunt and uncle.

The book is called Kpawo, The Bridge , and it is truly a book that I would write. Its not some "How To" pamphlet about travel to Africa. It is a spiritual and emotional preparation for the trip home. Whether you are in preparation of your first trip or just considering travel to the continent, I would highly suggest purchasing this guide. As I read it experiences come back to mind of all the encounters and emotions of my travels. Book review to come.

Not only did I get a great book out of the deal, I also got to see alot of a new state. This was my first time in North Carolina and I loved the greenery, shopping and culture it had to offer. The bad side was that I unfortunately experienced allergies (which is rare for me) and a case of motion sickness from all the driving and flight turbulence, which was horrid on the way in. Some Dramamine and ginger ale later, I was ready for action. We flew into Durham but made time to drive out to Charlotte, which was a nice, long drive. The city (Charlotte) itself was not terribly impressive but we pretty much only did a drive by through downtown and spent the rest of the time visiting with a friend of the family's.

I met alot of his extended family all of whom are incredibly talented. I encountered so many artists of various disciplines; music, fashion design, vocal, photography, dance, literature, visual. It really inspired me to continue looking within and discovering what I want to accomplish, experience, and live. Baba Shabu, co-author of Kpawo, The Bridge spoke of the importance of listening to your own rhythm. In order to live completely and fully, in order to have contentment in one's life, one must listen to self. Follow your own rhythm. Even if you must wake up before the sun is up, find a moment to celebrate and recognize your self. When I was working, I was not recognizing my self. I was running around crazy attempting to satisfy other people constantly. I placed my self worth on their respone to my achievements. I ignored my self's pace, and became unhappy. Now I am getting back into my rhythm, and increasingly finding things that satisfy me. I am steadily getting back to my reality.

I Used to Write

2009-04-14T12:18:00.000-07:00

Used to like poetry. I used to like writing and hearing about conflicting emotions regarding forbidden lovers and the n word in stacatto rhythms. I used to write about revolution and being a woman. I would consider deeply the fate of man and the end of my day. I liked getting wrapped up in the passion of it and I related to the massive delusions of grandeur that envelopes the creator. I used to write.

At some point I fell out of love with it. I walked away from the last form of expression I had and closed myself into my self and hoped to hide it in the deepest nook, away from strangers and prying eyes.

I have considered starting up again; become my own therapist to help my self reach my full potential. Quiet the paranoia and self doubt. Boost public speaking and self esteem. Work on reflection and verbalizing my ideas/feelings.

I spent alot of time today meditating on what poetry and performance meant to me, trying to figure out what changed. Determining if it is something that can once again bring joy into my life or if it will be like trying to date an ex.

I have come to terms that oft times I am not one for talking. My expression is with visual communication, letters, art. Whether journaling, blogging or prose/poetry, I have often let my hands do the talking. I stiffled my self for so long and ignored that, in fact, I need to write.

I Have Discovered Rock Band

2009-04-10T18:04:00.000-07:00

Rock Band II to be precise along with Guitar Hero III. I've never been big on video games, and haven't strayed far from Tekken and my crossword and other puzzles games but these two have me hostage. I don't really have massive amounts of free time now that I am unemployed and busy with school, but somehow I have found enough time to jam out to a few good sets. Smashing Pumpkins, Pat Benatar, James Brown. Who can turn up their nose to rocking out to some Nirvana? I dare you.

Honestly, I've never been one to spend hours on end gaming away in my undies until the sun comes up. Until now.

An added bonus atop of the incredible amount of fun and exercise (rockin that plastic LesPaul is some work!) I get to spend quality time with my hunnie. He grudging played for the first time yesterday and ended up putting down the guitar long after I was in bed. He thanked me for making him play because it turned out to be something he enjoys more than he thought he would. :) Someone finally thanks me for being pushy, what a thrill! I'm glad we have another activity to enjoy together. Perhaps we will even venture to exploring real musical instruments someday. For now, we'll jam on the regular to Modest Mouse "Float On" with giant smiles and fake guitars.

First Monday

2009-04-06T11:29:00.000-07:00

My weekend was filled with homework and thankfully Monday morning did not begin with the dread of work as it had for the past few months. After seeing my hunny out the door I got started on fleshing out the things that were on my mind. I almost forgot how much I enjoy researching art, visiting galleries and haunting museums. Today I reestablished my love for Sol LeWitt, namely this piece which I first saw in a high school's art room. I finished my morning considering the label of conceptual artist while musing about my future and considering my own possibilities.
Conceptual artists create for the idea, not for the aesthetic. LeWitt defines this form best

"In conceptual art the idea or concept is the most important aspect of the work. When an artist uses a conceptual form of art, it means that all of the planning and decisions are made beforehand and the execution is a perfunctory affair. The idea becomes a machine that makes the art."

I would say my life has been like this. Creating a grand idea where execution and results is kind of secondary. But who created my idea? If my "idea" is the same as hundreds or thousands of others, is it truly my idea or an I just following someone else's instructions? I guess I need to consider if the goal was to create an original piece of art (my life) or was it simply to exist (survive) ? I am not the first nor will I be the last to question what it is I desire to be. Artist? Planner? Professor? Pilot? Trying to find the right fit is a lifetime commitment and I'm not afraid to explore anymore.

I enjoy art and creation and truly the best times I had in school were when I was giving a creative challenge. I keep art to myself like I do my secrets. Will I share my creations? Will I bare myself? I may have to bring out the old classic magic 8 ball for this one.

Starting Over

2009-04-04T08:12:00.000-07:00

I recently resigned from my position to pursue post graduate full time. In this crazy economy, yes I turned down decent income in pursuit of not happiness, but self satisfaction. No significant savings, no unemployment to depend on, and definitely not from a well to-do family, I have set my mind and focus on finishing grad school for self satisfaction and more opportunities. School has had a way of making me feel complete and involved. I enjoy the mental challenge, interactions with people of like and unlike minds, and the chance to discover new things.

Day one of full time student, no time job was filled with errands, housework and homework. Starting with a clean slate is essential to the starting over process. Setting goals is next on the list, then planning and finally execution. A few short term goals include volunteering at the museum, gather more understanding about financial and retirement, and put together a business plan with my business partner and sister. I am prepared to invest in myself with time and effort, as much as I have any job or project. This blog will be a testament of my efforts to finally enjoy life.